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On Trust: Do I really need to know where I am going?

April 7, 2013

I heard a magnificent metaphor today from a good friend in the program.  He and another had been hiking in a familiar canyon the day before and thought it would be a good idea to travel off of a familiar path.  As the hike continued they found themselves somewhat lost.  As would be expected when one is lost in a situation such as this, there was a real fear of not being able to find a way out of the canyon they were otherwise familiar with.  It isn’t unusual that human power can find themselves in situation that they do not have any control over.

What happened was a process in faith and trust where both hikers knew they needed to continue to move, whether or not they understood completely where there were moving towards.  Without the knowledge of the direction being correct or incorrect, without the ability to predict the precise outcome of the task ahead, the two were left with what they had been taught in program:  action is necessary, trust that the outcome would be the right one, and a faith in themselves and their higher power.

They walked and walked and walked and, within a period of time discovered the path they had left and found their way back out of the canyon.  They were delivered back to what they knew without having known this was the plan for them all along.

This, for me, is an analogy about how I need to live.  So often in my life I am so deeply entrenched in the angst and frustration of not knowing what is coming up in the future.  Will I get that job?  Will that relationship work?  Will that person call me back?  Will I be able to pay those bills?  The questions of results yet to come are a mainstay in the daily thought patterns I live within.  Why?  Because I am human and I want to be able to control my environment, my fears, and my ability to understand whatever part of my destiny I am questioning.

But where is my faith?  Where is my trust in the higher power that I write about so often?  If I feel that any situation in my life requires some sort of answer in order for me to feel “safe” or taken care of, it would appear to be missing.  If I am unable to enjoy the moment I am living in right now because I am afraid that I will lose something that I have or not receive something that I want, I am wasting precious time and joy.  In large part I am wasting my life away in speculations and demands that may not even be what I need.

How often have we heard to be careful what we wish for?  For me any expectation is a recipe for disappointment AND selling myself short of what could possibly be.  If I am designing the future for what I believe it should be whether big or small, I am playing God in at least some part.  I am designing a life that will only challenge and provide difficulty for what is really supposed to be.

I appreciated the metaphor provided by my friend because I have been living in this constant “plan” about what I want, should do, or project in several areas in my life.  All it does is remind me the only way I am going to be able to honestly move further in this path and obtain the joy I seek for (disguised in the expectations) is to TRUST  I am being led where I need to go, and that I be provided with the wisdom and capability to see this as it is revealed, and have the FAITH that my higher power is making this trust and path possible.

Surrender is necessary.

So I Stop.Smile.Breathe.

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