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There’s Plan A, Plan B or what eventually happens.

June 3, 2013

John Lennon said: “life is what happens to you when you’re busy making plans.”  I have found this to not only be true, but prevalent in my daily life and decision making.  I am a planner.  I know what I need and I go after it, that, you could say, is simple human nature.  Where I sometimes go wrong is in any expectation that the plan will be achieved without a hitch.  What I tend to forget is that my plans are not necessarily what I need, nor what I will eventually want if realized.

In Alcoholics Anonymous the definition of insanity is to do something repeatedly and expect different results.  So… am I insane?  Perhaps I am just impatient and need only remind myself that the only really important moment I experience is the one I am currently in.

I have learned in my sobriety that I have a tendency to perpetuate a vicious cycle.  It is not as though looking for better ways to be, learn, live, love and exist are a bad idea.  But it is important to remember, much like anything else in life, that moderation is key.  Where I am is a product of where I have been.  Planning on where I want to go will help to aid the path that I am on (although not necessarily predict it, which we will discuss below).  If I spend the full amount of my current moments trying or wishing to be somewhere else, be with someone who is not there, or do something that I am unable or cannot currently do… I am losing out on the precious spirit of my present moments.  So what’s vicious?  Here’s the scenario:  If I have wasted current moments projecting myself into the future (or possibly living in the past?) who is to say that when I achieve that future I would not do the same for something else?

Seeing a pattern here?

This by no means is to say that making plans is not a wonderful thing to do.  I love to make plans.  One of my favorite parts of a holiday is to spend the time beforehand doing the booking, looking through brochures, calling friends, checking guides and plotting my holiday destiny.  Making plans is an essential part of the process of life.  If I didn’t keep myself organized and structured there are a lot of things in this man’s world that may not have happened.  Planning is good.  Some planning can be the joy of a current moment and thus both needs can be met.

Then there is the part that could be labeled as an innocent arrogance.

It can almost be comical to ever have the expectation that my plans will go as I intend.  Sure, sometimes they can work out… but for the most part I find that the plan is just a foundation.  Life will fill in the walls and ceilings to complete the picture.  Sometimes the walls and ceiling are on a completely different structure, leaving that foundation you built out there exposed to the elements.  Expectations are killers.

This is where I can get existential.  Let’s say the plans do not go as intended.  I muster up an alternate.  Perhaps that doesn’t work out either.  What is meant to be will be.  That is not necessarily in the plan playbook I may have written… but it is what I believe is exactly where I am supposed to be.

So in the end I can only hope that the plans I make are in a general direction to what I might be looking for, but I should keep my mind open for the result of whatever eventually does happen.

And then all I need to do is Stop. Smile. Breathe.

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