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Reflection versus over-thinking

June 15, 2014

It is not a secret among those who know me best that I can sometimes think too much.

Some might call it obsessing.

It’s sometimes (but not always) in the way I live, think, work, play, eat and love.  It sounds dangerous but if and when applied in tandem with the tools of my program it can be healthy, focused and productive. Then, of course, there are the times that I am not applying it with the healthy attitudes and methods I continue to be taught and because I am “obsessing” I can end of blocking out the possibility of solution until I am awakened with an awareness and know to surrender the behavior.

When I am in obsessive thinking it will come completely from fear.  It is a result of my not living in the moment.  It happens when I am taking control of people, places & things and not trusting my God has a plan.  It is often a result of a lack of communication (for whatever reason) and in not knowing an answer I am prone to creating one or more for myself.

When active It’s a vicious cycle.  If I don’t have the patience to wait for an answer or result I will create the worst possible scenario and let it bounce back and forth in my head until I have lowered myself into a depth of mood (based on the false evidence appearing real.)  When I am in a mood like this it becomes harder to recognize my disease at play and harder to grab awareness and accept surrender.

The trick, obviously is to understand fear and create a relationship with it that does not allow it to take ownership.  Over-thinking does not solve my issues, it merely confuses them and draws them out.

I have been told to trust my instincts and intuition.  I honestly believe that I have the answers I seek long before I ever believe they are there.  The difference with intuition and instincts is they are positive and not fear-based.  They are based in trust.  They may not be as evident or concrete in all matters of communication, and are long gone by the time I have begun to second guess, third guess and obsess on whatever it is I think I need to know so badly.

Mercury in retrograde is known to effect communication.  When it is in our lives we are often told it is a time for reflection.  Reflection can be a very healthy and when done without fear can also provide a solid growth potential for matters in relationships, jobs, and all parts of our lives.  It is during these periods that I must be most careful.  It is during these periods that it feels like everything is stopped or suspended, thus kicking an over-active imagination into action.  I have been doing a lot of reflecting during this retrograde period, but in recent days I may have reached the limit of what is healthy and started to cross the line to obsessive over-thinking.  It isn’t going to work.

I am here to remind myself that nothing is wrong.  Too much reflection only means not enough action.  If the communication is lacking it may be time to simply pause, pray, meditate.  If the period is quiet and not producing results as I might think it should (control) it is a solid sign in my program to simply stop and BE for as long as it takes.  For an alcoholic like myself this is never an easy chore… but I have learned it is not impossible and I am here to learn and grow.

Stop. Smile.  Breathe.

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