My life as a novel
My life has been filled with endless storylines, characters, twists, turns, ups & downs. I have often likened the various stages to chapters in a novel, and today I am writing to talk to the need and desire to turn a page and begin a new one.
As a writer I have learned the keys and hints for when to change a chapter. For one it should always be dictated by the story. It could be a in a place where your “story” requires a shift or it could be a place where the action is at a peak, in order to convince a reader to keep reading (and not put that book down.) Where I sit in my life today necessitates a bit of both of these scenarios. I honestly feel the shift is overdue, bringing with it a boost of energy and challenge, but it is important to note that I am busier than I have ever been and the “action” in where my life currently sits is most definitely peaking.
Change doesn’t tend to scare me the way it does others. I embrace it and will often seek it out. It is, however, important to note that I am aware some changes are not asked for and can be a bit disruptive. The change that I am looking for in my world right now does not mean that I am unhappy or ungrateful for where I am or the opportunities I have been given in the world of career, but they do mean that I am ready and very, very willing to accept new challenges and feel a bit of the spark I have known in other phases and chapters in my life.
I am fighting complacency and a storm of dissatisfaction around me. Make no mistake: I am in charge of my life and environment and I do not and will not blame those in my midst for anything that may or may not be working for me. What I do know is I am working 11 and 12 hour days and reminding myself endlessly that I am, wherever I may be, there to be of service. What I feel, lately, is that I have reached a peak with what I am and can be where I currently exist and need to advance in some way or another whether it is within the confines of the current situation or outside in another environment. I have held on for a good long time in this chapter feeling there was every reason to believe the changes that would come with the sort of work I do were inevitable. I am learning that it doesn’t appear to be on anyone’s map and it is only going to be my own fault if I do not make some decisions and changes on my own to turn the page without waiting for it to be someone else’s idea.
There is always fear in big change. I feel the risk of rocking a boat and disrupting some things I don’t necessarily want to change within the change. But I also believe dramatically in myself and the God of my understanding. This combination has provided me with the trust in my capability, my talents, my strengths and my future. I am what I am through a ton of education and experience and to believe for even a moment that I am not capable of more through challenge, growth and the adventure of taking a leap would be to sell myself (and future chapters) short.
In a nutshell this is about believing in myself, taking actions and staying out of the results.
It is also important to remind myself that I am only human. It is, without fail, easier to plot, plan, wish and hope for a change than it is to actually start to work through it. Were I to see my page turn and the chapter shift as I have spoken to here today, it would be a lot more frightening in reality than it is in theory. Fortunately I have enough practice in both the planning and shifting… and faith and trust to know that whatever the outcome it is meant to be. If the changes I seek happen or if they do not I am better for the participation in my own life, the actions taken and the reminder for me what I am worth.
Whatever the outcome I am looking for an exciting novel, a page-turner and maybe even a movie-deal down the road.
Stop.Smile.Breathe.
By the time I got half way through your piece I realized you “had already turned the page.” Rock on soul cousin. Exciting times of constant yet sweet change are these…