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My life as a novel

August 17, 2014

My life has been filled with endless storylines, characters, twists, turns, ups & downs.  I have often likened the various stages to chapters in a novel, and today I am writing to talk to the need and desire to turn a page and begin a new one.

As a writer I have learned the keys and hints for when to change a chapter.  For one it should always be dictated by the story.  It could be a in a place where your “story” requires a shift or it could be a place where the action is at a peak, in order to convince a reader to keep reading (and not put that book down.) Where I sit in my life today necessitates a bit of both of these scenarios.  I honestly feel the shift is overdue, bringing with it a boost of energy and challenge, but it is important to note that I am busier than I have ever been and the “action” in where my life currently sits is most definitely peaking.

Change doesn’t tend to scare me the way it does others.  I embrace it and will often seek it out.  It is, however, important to note that I am aware some changes are not asked for and can be a bit disruptive.  The change that I am looking for in my world right now does not mean that I am unhappy or ungrateful for where I am or the opportunities I have been given in the world of career, but they do mean that I am ready and very, very willing to accept new challenges and feel a bit of the spark I have known in other phases and chapters in my life.

I am fighting complacency and a storm of dissatisfaction around me.  Make no mistake: I am in charge of my life and environment and I do not and will not blame those in my midst for anything that may or may not be working for me.  What I do know is I am working 11 and 12 hour days and reminding myself endlessly that I am, wherever I may be,  there to be of service.  What I feel, lately, is that I have reached a peak with what I am and can be where I currently exist and need to advance in some way or another whether it is within the confines of the current situation or outside in another environment.  I have held on for a good long time in this chapter feeling there was every reason to believe the changes that would come with the sort of work I do were inevitable.  I am learning that it doesn’t appear to be on anyone’s map and it is only going to be my own fault if I do not make some decisions and changes on my own to turn the page without waiting for it to be someone else’s idea.

There is always fear in big change.  I feel the risk of rocking a boat and disrupting some things I don’t necessarily want to change within the change.  But I also believe dramatically in myself and the God of my understanding.  This combination has provided me with the trust in my capability, my talents, my strengths and my future.  I am what I am through a ton of education and experience and to believe for even a moment that I am not capable of more through challenge, growth and the adventure of taking a leap would be to sell myself (and future chapters) short.

In a nutshell this is about believing in myself, taking actions and staying out of the results.

It is also important to remind myself that I am only human.  It is, without fail, easier to plot, plan, wish and hope for a change than it is to actually start to work through it.  Were I to see my page turn and the chapter shift as I have spoken to here today, it would be a lot more frightening in reality than it is in theory.  Fortunately I have enough practice in both the planning and shifting… and faith and trust to know that whatever the outcome it is meant to be. If the changes I seek happen or if they do not I am better for the participation in my own life, the actions taken and the reminder for me what I am worth.

Whatever the outcome I am looking for an exciting novel, a page-turner and maybe even a movie-deal down the road.


One Comment
  1. Kevin permalink

    By the time I got half way through your piece I realized you “had already turned the page.” Rock on soul cousin. Exciting times of constant yet sweet change are these…

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