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Faith is so easy. Faith is so hard.

September 28, 2014

A long time ago I had a sponsor who told me that “God” had three answers to our requests.  One was “Yes,” One was “Not now, but maybe later,” and the third was “No, but I have something better.”  Unless the answer is yes, I am faced with the matter of faith.  Either faith in the understanding or accepting  of why I am not receiving what I think I want or need (and sometimes believe I deserve) or the faith that helps me to look towards knowing there is a better solution (in its proper timeframe,) a modified goal or completely different scenario while honoring/learning the need for patience in order to avoid making bad choices, saying things I’ll regret or realizing (all too well) that my best thinking is not always the harbinger of happiness and peace in my world.

Yes does not always mean my dreams are answered.  Sometimes “yes” is the beginning of a lesson in the making.  But no can be a protection against something that would very possibly have not been the answer you thought it to be…. some say that rejection is protection.

Faith often needs to be blind.  If I am practicing faith without an open mind I could very well be cutting myself short of the true meaning of the word and the better results that could be achieved without trying to control the situation.  If I am focusing on my ISM the goals and desires I have set for myself are not necessarily my truest answers.  They are, like the many other solutions my ISM have provided me in the past, often fixes.  A fix is a temporary solution that fades away leaving regret, remorse or the craving for more of the same in its wake.  Sometimes when something feels like it isn’t supposed to be,  possibly challenging me and feeling like a ‘wall,’ a ‘prison,’ a ‘trap,’ or a ‘bottomless pit,’  I have to remember it is going to pass and is possibly there only to provide a record, a lesson or a means of gauging what does work in later points of life.

Sometimes trial isn’t necessarily trail, but just a necessary growth period designed to strengthen the spiritual muscles and provide a contrast for the experiences that are hopefully to be provided in the future.  Isn’t it true that without sadness there would be no way to understand happiness?  Does it not then also make sense that more difficult periods are there to pave a more experienced means of becoming a better, understanding and more stable human being in the future?

Faith is easy when things appear to be working the way you believe they should.  Faith can be hard when you are feeling somewhat lost or in fear and dashed expectations are telling you that there is no “happiness” or solution in the future.  Whatever “pain” you are feeling is likely meant to be there, a barometer for future outcomes based on the willingness to surrender and move out of ego long enough to recognize the growth potential in front of you.

But how many times have I overthought the process and created the more difficult scenarios out of mis-communication or very little information simply out of the fear of not receiving what I feel I should be receiving?  Drama is very easily created and doom is such an easy outcome.  Who am I to decided completely what my experience should be?  Isn’t the point of my accepting that I am not the “higher power” and turning my will and life over to the care of a God of my understanding to make sure that I am NOT the one in control?  Couldn’t it be said that faith in that outcome is essential to the very happiness I am claiming to want and need and by determining the results of my outcomes completely on my own I am painting my work of art in a very dark room?

Faith is about surrender and when I am tied up in the result I am avoiding it’s simplicity.  That being said it is obvious that faith will always be difficult if I am not willing to let go.   When I am in faith I am happier and more relaxed.  With it I am able to understand the world around me and the very things I am looking to change.  As a result the very struggle I am working to remove can become easier to handle and definable as a part of the process towards the solution.  Faith does that. I just wish it was easy to remember this truth and adopt it as one of my defaults.

This is a goal for my life, and because I know it is possible I put it where it is most helpful by adding it to my mantra, which always takes away any (and all) of the angst I am experiencing in a given moment during my waking hours.

Stop. Smile. Breathe.

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