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How to create problems with flair

February 22, 2015

Note the irony.  Today I am not going to write about creative ways to conceive and perpetuate the issues in my life.  It makes sense our problems tend to be around us without any help from the internal process… but the question I must pose is how many of them are actually something NOT of our own making and, conversely, (and perhaps without even knowing,) how many have I constructed in my head?

Perhaps to the “normal” mind (what exactly is that?) this sort of thinking is out of step and a bit hard to comprehend.  For those of us who entertain an ‘ism’ it is not without merit or reach to speak to the manner of thinking that provides an additional inner dialogue touching on shades of resentment, envy, self-righteous ego, fear and a dollop of paranoia.

Now I have gone and made myself sound a bit off the deep end, haven’t I.  Truth be told there are some who will read this particular entry and understand completely what it is I refer to.  Others, undoubtedly, will wonder if I shouldn’t somehow be medicated.  Personally, I would disagree regarding myself, (but for those who might actually benefit I choose not to hold an opinion on the topic.)

What I do know is I have an extra conversation in my head pretty much at all times.  It is an active sense of self-preservation, dis-comfort, fear of losing something or not getting something else.  It is, in common terms, an easier way to describe or define my dis-ease.  It was this dis-ease (and I spell it as I do for a reason) which brought me to my knees many years ago.  It was this dis-ease that originally showed me my answers and solutions were in dangerous places doing dangerous things.  The core of my dis-ease may not have changed very much at its root over the years, but the solutions have altered and provided me with ways to look at myself and my behavior, thinking and LIFE in healthier, more productive and very positive ways.

It is no longer about the problem for me, it must always be about the solution.

What problem do I speak to specifically (today?)  My thinking.

Without the tools and answers I have been taught and learn over and over again within my program for living I am left with the sort of thinking which drove me to the wrong solutions in the past.  With the tools I live in a peaceful and spiritual surrounding even IF there are moments where I must take my “medication” (which for me is in the form of steps, service, communication, deep breathes and contrary actions.)

The world around me is busy.  It is a hectic mix of messages; social, world or work politics; bad news; change; expectations; traffic; financial demands; work & life challenges and swiftly moving calendars.  Granted, along with life on life’s terms comes the beauty of the world around me (one needs only to really look) including unconditional love, rest & relaxation, creativity, travel, commitments, and success (any way it looks to you.)  It is easy to be hard on yourself in the former list of descriptions and just as difficult to forget the gratitude that must always be attached to the latter.  The tricks are in balancing and, as I always write, acceptance and patience regarding the person you are or have become, the way you breathe and handle each and every thing offered and the ability to grow, learn, keep an open mind and understand ones own intentions.

Intentions can (should?) make all the difference in how we think.

If I am to create a thought about a person, place or thing which can blossom in lightning speed or with hesitance and reluctance, into a full blown blockade of progress, a resentment that impedes communication or growth with a relationship or happiness as a whole… I am screwed.  For me the very idea that I am not being treated correctly or appropriately “liked” for any reason or situation is merely a focal point to zoom in on and make sure I understand the motive towards the thought.

What is my motive?

If the thought is about self and not grounded in the best intention it is likely (in most cases if not all) to be a self-centered egotistic and harmful message being devised by the very dis-ease that has caused me to avoid happiness in so many other cases and periods in my life in the past.  I am constantly learning to “uncover, discover and discard” as my program has taught me.  The very awareness of my dis-ease has allowed me to become suspect of the problems I feel are real and ask myself if they are necessary in the bigger picture.

More than often, they are not.

Each day I must ask myself to keep my mind clear of the clutter and allow myself to move forward in thinking with honesty, love and good intention.  I am not a doormat, nor am I stupid, but I am more inclined to believe my day will be better with the elimination of fabricated issues and the reminder of simple clear motives and thinking.

I would prefer to keep the creativity channeled into writing, art and the strategy of better living.

Stop. Smile. Breathe.

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