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On trusting in trust

May 3, 2015

One of the more difficult evolutions of my character and personality has been to trust.  The very idea has raised the hair on my neck over the years and the thought of it’s potential failure has set up fear alarms on many an occasion.

I admit I used to think it would probably be easier to assume nothing and nobody can be trusted.  The reality of this type of thinking resulted in living life looking over one’s shoulder and never truly understanding the core concept of relationships or peace as a result.

Life is filled with turning points (if we are lucky) and I have been truly blessed.  To believe in any form of sadness (whether intentional or not) as an easier path for living (hopefully) taking that person to an eventual point where it’s best to understand and perhaps redefine the word “easy.”

What is easy about believing nothing that means anything can work because you have built up a wall designed solely to “protect” you from being hurt, humiliated, shamed, disappointed or even embarrassed in the potential of failure?  Living inside that wall of protection can be perceived as a way to avoid the hurt and pain, but why would the unknown or unexperienced joys and successes not be worth the risk?

To trust in the best result, the right outcome or the success of a decision is the truest and most beautiful form of faith.  Isn’t trust just faith in the first place?  I put my trust in you or in anything and I am expressing an inward faith in the result (even if the obvious goal is a favorable outcome.)

But once I learned more about faith versus fear I began to understand the complex madness and beauty in simple trust and the issues began to melt away.  It isn’t necessarily smart to jump to the full opposite of the fear that built the walls.  I have learned to hone, listen to and heed my basic instincts and intuition.  When I know something is not to be trusted innately it is likely something I should steer away from.  But I finally learned things actually can be trusted and began to climb out of the hole I had voluntarily built.

The best way for me to learn how to trust was to trust (I know, that’s deep.)  Program tells me to take the leap and the net will appear.  In another conclusion I have learned to understand in some of my failures as possibly the best ways to lead me further towards my successes.  Making mistakes is not detrimental to my character or reputation.  I am stronger for each decision and it’s result, whatever that may end up being.  But in trusting I have become wiser and the result of the many, many times my trust and faith in a situation, place, person or thing has worked has opened my mind allowing me to grow and mature as a human doing (instead of just being.)

I once had a sponsor tell me there were no mistakes.  Yes, there are always consequences and results but we cannot be guaranteed they will be bad… and we cannot be sure even the bad result is not going to change our life in ways we may not have been able to experience otherwise.  Everything has it’s reason.  Everything has it’s purpose.  All my decisions were a basic part of the path I am on.  Even some of the things one could argue were NOT my decisions became part of the path based on my reactions to them.

But when I do not trust in the potential action taken:  the “yes,” the relationship, the decision, the experience… I risk not finding a truer, more vivid potential on the short trip on Earth.  I trust because I need the adventure.  I trust because I crave the change and I adore the growth.  I am teachable and trust helps me to learn. Where I don’t trust I am limiting my view, my potential and more than likely my mood about all things around me.  When I don’t trust I often end up in resentment and, as I have been taught, resentment is liking taking poison and expecting someone else to die.

Today I choose to trust in my future, my path, my relationships, my continued growth.  Faith is stronger than anything I could ever muster up on my own.  In it I am powerful.  It allows me the strength and happiness to enjoy life as I need to.  It really is happening for me and NOT to me.

Stop. Smile. Breathe.

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One Comment
  1. Kevin permalink

    Trust in the wild n wooly process of life—brought to you by: You and the Universe!!!

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