Skip to content

The choices we make

July 5, 2015

Once upon a time I was told there were no wrong choices, only “consequences” and results.

I always thought this statement to be interesting considering the amount of times I felt backed into corners or obligated out of fear because of something I told myself I had “no choice” over.

There is always a choice.  Therefore it would seem the question in focus is more about the matter of right versus wrong and not the question of whether the choice is there to make in the first place.

Considering I  am stating there IS always a choice (right, wrong or without any designation of type,) we now move into psychological territories.  Why would we assign a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ label to a decision at all?  Perhaps it feels simpler to understand an outcome or to know what the future holds based on one’s own previous actions.  Maybe we’ve been here before and the expected result is pretty easy to see.  It’s possible some choices feel or look pretty straightforward.  They might represent a question of morals, attitudes, strengths or weaknesses.  It could be that experience or even intuition is very much aligned or apparent in the potential of whatever this choice (at least the “wrong” version of it) could, would or will provide.

It could be that we are overthinking the process as a result of an inability or unwillingness to commit to ANY outcome, thus procrastinating or avoiding the choice completely.  Sometimes I will avoid making choices because I cannot convince myself to work through what I see as a risk involved (if I quit this job I may not work again and I will end up on the streets.) It is easy for me to see non-decision making as a safeguard, while telling myself I will simply wait for “something to happen” to alter the situation making the need for the choice in front of me null and void.

That scenario, however hopeful,  is not likely.  It can also become a recipe for many long and difficult days of the aforementioned overthinking.  Should I? Shouldn’t I? Will I? Won’t I?  If I do this will happen.  If I don’t this will occur.  I write a journal daily, this is definitely a side-effect of fear and delay tactics in making decisions (which will end up being made one way or the other whether you like it or not.)

Normal human beings probably don’t do that.

Then there is the faith component.  If I am in a good spiritual place I should ideally understand that decisions are nothing more than a lesson, opportunity or fork on the path.  If a choice appears to be something potentially altering in any aspect of my life, it should be obvious there is an opportunity for me to develop and grow.  Whether the opportunity is wholly about changing a situation in your life for the better or not, should not be relevant.  What IS important is recognizing that growth potential all decisions we make are capable of showing and providing us.  With faith comes willingness to accept the outcome of a choice, knowing it will possibly bring with it some hardship, perhaps a step or two backwards or a brand new, unknown experience one would never have considered without staring it completely in the face.  That being said, the result could also be spectacular and filled with all manners of pleasing outcome.

Unfortunately where fear is involved, faith is missing.  If I feel I cannot make a choice because it could potentially bring aspects and results I am sure would be difficult, I am still working on my perceptions of that outcome.  Those perceptions are likely based on my fears of something I do not necessarily know.  Perhaps I have known similar experiences but I do not hold the key to the future.  If I fear something from experience I would be better to remember the experience could very well have taught me how to avoid the same result in a new choice made.  Creating an outcome as a fact is like my playing God.  It does not show faith in myself or in my idea of what God is or can do, it does not show willingness and it does not give me the opportunity to experience new levels of awareness and growth.  It is a trap and all too often ill-handling of the many choices we are presented can hold us prisoner from full and future potential.

Leap and the net will appear.  Even the choices which don’t necessarily provide the picture of what we would believe to be the ideal result will offer us the chance to learn, create, mold and reshape opinions of ourselves, the world around us and the path we are on.  Every choice has an opportunity involved, although some come with prettier packages and others require patience and acceptance within a detour.  My experience has been filled with detours which, if not taken, I might not have had a plethora of other experiences valuable to the person I am today.

Choices can also offer the element of surprise.  Something which doesn’t initially feel like a slam dunk in a decision could end up being filled with opportunity and become “better” than anything you would have originally anticipated had you decided in another direction.  We do not know the future and can often be selling ourselves short by believing we do.

Choices are not always life altering.  There are times when a choice could be as simple as going somewhere or not going somewhere, getting out of bed or not, taking a job or not taking a job.  There may be no assigned outcome to either way of going in this sort of decision.  But Contrary action (going in a direction you are not inclined for whatever reason) could bring you to a place where you find a distinct happiness, meet a pivotal person, hear a magnificent message or learn a life lesson.  This sort of choice could be almost invisible to you, but has the potential to change your life in large or small ways.

Today I have choices to make.  Each one holds a value to both the person I am and could or will be.  Each will be considered, but not pondered too long.  All will change or alter the path I am on.  How?  I don’t know but I am looking forward to seeing.  Patience.

Stop. Smile. Breathe.




Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: